Motherhood can be overwhelming. It is so easy to become consumed in your kids and your role as a mom. I promised this would never happen. I swore it would not be me. Yet here we are a year into baby #2 and struggling into trying to be ME again. Along the lines I stopped doing some of the things I loved & my whole life became my kids. Not to say I don’t want them to be the most important people in my life, I just want to still have the time to take care of myself as well. With Lia officially 100% weaned I feel like I can finally get a part of that back. Let me share what I am doing to get a part of Karen back.
It’s easier said than done with kids. Before Lia was born I was at the gym 5-6 days per week. I would wake up at 4am to workout before work. Nowadays I am up at 4am to get whatever I can done before the girls are up for the day. I started to incorporate walks with Lia every day for at least 30 minutes and then followed up with a short at home workout. I push her stroller up and down and hillside roads around my neighborhood for that extra push. She enjoys the time outdoors and mamma gets to burn some calories. That’s a win win.
Safe to say Pappa Bear and I did not get many date nights in the past year. Being on a 3 hours breastfeeding schedule and having a hateful relationship with the pump did not help. Now we have already scheduled a couple day dates and date nights. Thanks in advance to our moms for babysitting for us. We definitely need some time to enjoy each others company without having to worry about our little ones.
I am a total bookworm. Sadly I don’t think I had read a book since I found out I was pregnant. Currently although still mom related I am enjoying The Fifth Trimester , a book about balancing life as a mom, worker, partner, etc. I take time out of my day to sit down and relax with a good book-even if its just 15-20 mins.
Doing my Hair, Nails, Make Up
I swore I wouldn’t be one of those moms who “let go”. And I haven’t. I rock the mom bun all too well and the no make up look. What I would find was looking disappointed into my reflection. So I started to do just a bit of blush and mascara to start off my day and making my bun look more like a bun out of fashion rather than need. Lately I have saved to splurge those $35 on a mani pedi every 3 weeks, the time away and the way I feel after are totally worth it. The other times I set my own mani/pedi station at home and give myself a fresh coat of polish.
Outings with Friends
This is something in the works. Most of my friends are moms to so we understand the struggle all too well. Even if it’s a quick coffee date with your friends or a night out to the movies-do it! I haven’t had one in what seems like forever. Leave the kids at home with your hubbies and head out for a fun chat date with your best friend. Don’t forget to return the favor. Pappa Bears need some time too.
It’s a work in progress here. So far two weeks later I feel great. I don’t feel as stressed out anymore. I don’t feel as overwhelmed. I have started to feel a little more human now. I’ve learned that completely wrapping yourself in your kids is totally normal. The key is to find the balance before you feel like you are lost and drowning. Find your balance, whatever that may look like for you. And if you need a friend to talk to-send me an email. I am always more than happy to lend an ear.
I love this. Such a good reminder that you are still an important person. We give and give and give… But at some point we need to make time for ourselves so we can be our best self for our family.
Literally this entire list is me! I have committed to doing all 5 of those things. The make up and hair has been the trickiest for me because finding time in the morning is rough. Good luck!
Totally understand where are u coming from in a young mom too and I just weaned my 2 year old daughter and it’s difficult to go back to ME again.. sometimes I struggle with guilt and as u are I am a work in progress. Great post here!
Thank you! Yes its such a transition period. Some days are easy and others I find myself wondering when I will totally feel “normal” again. We are all a work in progress
It’s so easy to lose yourself in Motherhood. I love all the ways your inversting time and care in you. I find that reading is one of those things that really helps me feel like myself as it’s always been a love of mine. Date night is important too and I always feel better when I get dressed and engage in the world (rather than hiding from t). Great post!
3, 4, and 5 are big for me!! Especially outings with my friends, I’m working on nurturing my friendships more.
What a great post! I feel like all too often women are shamed if their entire lives don’t revolve around their children. It’s good to have somebody say that it’s okay to have time alone and to do things that make you happy. It doesn’t mean you love your kids any less.
Good for you for making that decision! Self-care is so important and often undervalued. If you’re not taken care of, how can you take care of those who are important to you? I wish you the best on this new journey!
Such great ideas. It’s so easy to lose yourself in motherhood. Regular time for ourselves reminds us that we have needs too and it can refresh us. Great post!
Working out regularly always help me, too!
Yes! Numbers 4 and 5 have saved me!
Love this post so much!!!! I’ve got Baby number one on the way and of course I am SO unbelievably excited but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad worried about losing pieces of myself a little once he’s here! Love your honesty and all these things you’re doing!!!! Way to go Mama!!
Self care is essential! It is definitely tricky to find the balance though. I love that all the things you mentioned are so simple, but they make a huge difference.