Hello Mamma Bears!
As many of your may know we welcomed our twin boys this past July. It was a complete surprise to know we were having twins and you can follow back a few posts to read more on our journey. I can honestly say although our home and belongings were prepared for twins, mentally-we had no idea what was coming. The newborn stage was tough, two babies= double the needs that need to be met. So how did we survive? All with a bit of trial and error. We want to share with you what worked for us and hope it can give you a bit of aide during those days you just feel burnt.
Get your twins on the same schedule
This has been the most crucial part of twin parenting. Having them on the same schedule has been one of the only ways we get any “breaks”. We began by getting them on the same feeding schedule as well as trying to nap them at the same time. During the few days that I nursed this meant tandem nursing, it was exhausting but the only way I would get a few minutes to breath.
Accept & Ask for Help
I can honestly say that without the help from friends and family I have no idea what would have happened. With 2 other kids, having people there to help made a huge difference. Some times they helped with the babies and others they helped with our older kids or helped make us food or tend to our home. Asking for help was something new to me, but I quickly realized I was torturing myself by trying to do it all alone.
Sleep as much as you can
This one can seem impossible at times. However, if there was someone with me to help or I happened to get the 3 little ones to nap together, I napped. Some times I would pop on a movie and cuddle with my now 3 year old and close my eyes a bit while the twins slept. I cannot guarantee you will always take a nap or feel rested, but this is why when you can sleep- DO IT!
I speak from personal experience when I say I was unrealistic about my expectations as a mother of 4. I thought my home would still be immaculate, home made meals would be ready at all times of the day, kids would be tended to, I would look put together, and that everything on my to do list would be crossed off. The first few weeks I ran myself to the ground trying to “do it all”. I started to realize in order to be mentally healthy I would have to learn to let go and be realistic about what I could do. First and foremost, my kids need to be taken care of. Everything else can wait. I make a list with 3 things I MUST get done, even the small things, and worry about only those. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ELSE CAN WAIT AND IT IS OKAY!!!
Get out of your house
I know going out to the world with two new babies is terrifying. My husband tried to avoid it as much as he could because the thought of even walking out the door seemed impossible with two babies. Slowly but surely we made it out. Whether it’s a walk with the kids or a quick trip to Target- do it! Practice makes perfect and only with experience will the fear begin to subside. Now I haul all 4 kids on grocery runs alone and even though we look like a circus, we are a happy circus lol!
Plan time to yourselves
Maybe this is planning a monthly date night, or weekly outings just you and your partner or just for yourself. Give each other some time for a break and get out together as well. Maybe you have family come watch the kids in between feedings so you can go run some errands, grab coffee, or grab dinner in peace, heck maybe you guys run into your room and watch a movie! JUST DO IT! My husband and I plan monthly dates and every week I get to leave the house to focus on myself and my work. I try to do the same for him because it is so important to still feel like yourselves.
Talk to someone
Human interaction is so important. Heck if you feel alone, find me on Instagram or send me an email. I am here to talk. You are NOT alone in this! It truly takes a tribe to make it & I am always here to be a part of yours!
Soak all the twins goodness in
When faced with cuddling or showering, choose the cuddles. Remember these moments fly by and before we know it we are sitting here wondering where the time went. So sit down mamma and pappa. Enjoy those baby cuddles and let the rest be.