A few weeks ago I ran a poll asking you all for what you wanted to ask my husband. Someone wanted to know what it is like for him to be a Mexican father in this day and age. This automatically sparked up interest in me because parenting for us in this day and age AND IN THIS COUNTRY is so different than it is for our ancestors or for family members who still live in America.
To start off my husband wanted to explain his background. He is a second generation Mexican-American man, which means he is not as connected to his roots nor did he have a huge cultural upbringing. It is thanks to that, that he is able to be the father that he is. He grew up surrounded mostly by the American culture and in this era where we are all about breaking gender stereotypes and fighting for equality. Nowadays, men are encouraged to be more hands on and there are countless studies highlighting the importance of father involvement in a child’s life.
What is considered “typical” culturally?
We cannot speak for everyone, but a lot of the roles we see around us depict a household where a man does the working and a woman is responsible for their home and family. There is this lack of balance between the familial duties. Men are to be taken care of and tended too on top of caring for a home and family.
So what does that all mean?
It means my husband is as hands on as he can be. My husband changes diapers, my husband feeds our kids, my husband plays with our kids- even when that means throwing on a tiara and waving a fairy wand around, my husband watches Disney movies & sings along, my husband cooks, my husband cleans, my husband does laundry, my husband makes ME lunches, my husband gives ME breaks. I feel very fortunate to be able to say all those things. We BOTH work. We BOTH take care of our family. We are a TEAM.
What does this mean for our kids?
It means our kids will grow up in a home where they see the workload shared. Our daughter’s will see that men are capable of helping with home duties and parenting responsibilities as well. Our daughter’s will see that shouldn’t carry all the weight of a family on their own shoulders. Our son’s will learn that it is more than okay to cook and clean and change diapers. Our son’s will learn that they too are responsible for their home and future children.
I am very fortunate to be in a relationship where the work is shared. Having my husband in touch with the importance of being an involved parent & a helpful partner has eased the stress on me and our kids. Our kids love having a dad they consider fun & who in their opinion cooks better than I do (they are not wrong lol)! It is time to break apart from those stereotypes and expectations and place more value on sharing responsibilities.