I have taken great pride in being as real and as much as open book as I can to my audience & readers. You guys always welcome my rawness with so much love and support. A few days ago I shared a moment of vulnerability and what surprised me was not the amount of love, because you guys always show tons of it, but rather the amount of messages from other moms who just RELATED to what I was feeling.
What led up to it…
Let me fill you in first on what happened. In my Instagram stories I opened up about the tough morning I had. By 8am that Tuesday morning I had been hiding in the kids’ playroom crying. Lincoln, one of my twins, had not slept the whole night before (or much at all the past week to be honest) and I was TIRED.
The 10 days before that night had been rough too. We had recently gone cold turkey with taking away their pacifiers & quickly learned that Lincoln was able to hop out of his crib. That was the green light to the toddler bed transition, not out want, but as a safety measure.
Let’s go back to that morning, Lincoln had not slept AT ALL. I woke up that morning feeling absolutely exhausted. After they were up for the morning, around 7:15a.m. we came downstairs and it began- SCREAMING, CRYING, SCREAMING, CRYING, and then everyone started talking to me and asking me for things and I felt like I was going to breakdown.
The crying got me BAD, I sent my husband a text telling him how overwhelmed I was feeling and before. I could even respond he was downstairs carrying kids and ushering them away from me. He was there to help so I went on with the pancake mixing only to have this sudden urge of wanting to cry while not being able to breath, I just said “I need a minute”, dropped the bowl on the counter and went to hide and cry.
What happened after
After I cried I got myself together and went to brave the day. I moved my to-do list out of the way and I took the kids outside. We all needed that, finger painting & water table fun for the win. Later that day I shared that whole story on Instagram and got so much support, but most importantly other moms just thanking me for sharing because they too have felt that or had been feeling that.
There is a sense of sisterhood amongst moms when we know we are not alone, it’s the whole reason why I keep sharing these moments with everyone. So I want to write this for you mama, if you are struggling or have struggled, this one if for you.
An Open Letter To The Struggling Mom
I see you. The endless days and nights filled with crying, both yours and your babies. I know there are days where it feels like the world is crashing down on you, I promise it’s not. But if you feel that way right at this moment, know it’s okay to feel it. Don’t ignore it. Talk to someone about it, and heck if you need to, talk to me- my DMs are ALWAYS open.
I know you are tired. Maybe you haven’t been sleeping much. Maybe you are still dealing with the repercussions of the pandemic, I know I am. Things have been hard, especially over the last 15 months. The world is opening back up and returning to some sort of normal, but what about us? We were handed what feels like 100x’s more responsibility over the last year and now a lot of that has stayed.
I have friends juggling watching their kids while taking business calls. I have friends who are exhausted from a year of unexpected homeschooling & now have a Summer to entertain their kids some more. Once upon a time, I lived for school breaks. I planned activities galore & now I am just TIRED. My creativity has hit a huge wall and any form of an activity I can come up with is all too “Quarantine Life” for my kids.
Maybe your kids, like mine, don’t know how to be out in the world. Maybe you, like me, don’t know how to be out in the world yet. Motherhood is a constant balancing act, but it doesn’t mean you have to balance it ALL. It means you balance what is #1! You balance what is most important and everything else CAN WAIT.
Maybe you too feel the overwhelming moments where you can’t catch a breath. Those moments where you feel like you are suffocating with all your kids need from you. IT IS A LOT. From the moment we become mothers we give them all. Our body, our mind, our time. I love my kids just like you, but some days I need to take care of ME in order to care for them.
If you have a moment where you want to curl up and cry know I am sitting right there with you. I have my hand over your shoulder telling you to let it out. You don’t need to hide your emotions. You don’t need to pretend you are okay. And you sure as hell don’t have to do it alone, because I am here for you!
Remember there is nothing you can’t do & you are never alone.